I overheard a kid call another boy, “stupid”. The target of the name calling, calmly replied that the other one was a “s#*t”. As I thought about that exchange, I realized that I am at least one of those. According to my dictionary, “stupid” means being regarded as showing a lack of intelligence, perception, or common sense…as in “a stupid mistake”. I have made many, many stupid mistakes. To those who know me this is not breaking news. Where shall I begin? I recall telling my mom when she found a cigarette butt in my jeans that I merely picked it up off the sidewalk. Problem with that one was, it was way before we started being concerned with our environment! I had a flat tire once in front of a Ford dealership and drove out an hour later in a brand new car —Pinto, lemon yellow. I don’t make this stuff up! Not sure what part of that one was the most stupid. I was really stupid to keep a horrible secret for 45 years and I was dumb as a box of rocks to try to medicate my pain, instead of facing the problem.
Past those, and much more significant, the fact of the matter is, every single sin I’ve ever committed was because I was stupid or acting stupid. What could be more stupid than thinking I’m smarter than God? But if you think it through, that is what sin always is. I can’t think of anything dumber than thinking it is OK to do my deal when I know it is against God’s will. Actually, that is probably acting stupid, because I do know better. But either way, the bottom line is I’m not so stupid that I don’t know I’m stupid. I can’t tell you how freeing a thought it is to make that admission! In any event, it puts me in some tall company, because David of the Bible admitted that he was stupid too.
Psalm 69:5 (LB) O God, you know so well how stupid I am, and you know all my sins.
Possibly the only thing worse than admitting you are stupid, is not knowing that you are. I’ve come to believe that it takes someone comfortable in their own skin to make that admission. Just saying.
The online version of my book for free Unscrewed: Becoming Whole Again. My personal story of abuse, shame, guilt, addiction, failure,rehab and victory. http://johngouldener.com/?page_id=3877