People Pleaser

For the first 15 years of my ministry, after a service I could have 50 people say “good job”, but if my wife or a close friend didn’t give me an “atta boy” I wanted to shoot myself. That is the sad truth. Sadly, I lived like that for most of my life. Some of you know the feeling. I hope what I am telling you will help. You are not alone!

For reasons that mostly had their genesis in a child’s imagination,  a guy who had pretty much succeeded at nearly everything I ever tried, other than hitting a golf ball straight, every day of my life until fall of 2005, I secretly felt like an inferior product – a reject or a second. Metaphorically, I equated myself to one of those over-priced “YETI”© products that you can buy for 75% off because it has a huge dent or leaking top. I found that to be a very painful way to live!

The fact of life is many people who are driven to perform and achieve, folks who often stand on the stages of life, are some of the most deeply insecure people on the planet. I find this to be particularly true of people in the helping professions – like ministers and counselors.  If any of what I’ve said hits home with you then believe me when I tell you that you do not have to live that way. Here is something you might want to try. Each day before your feet ever hit the floor ask yourself:  “For whom am I going to live this day?  Am I going to live my life to please people or am I going to live my life to please God?”  If you daily choose people you will pretty much set yourself up to fail, but if you choose God, you will never again be people dependent.

Something to Think About


My journey to wholeness in my free online book  @

Part 1 UNSCREWED – Becoming Whole Again

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