You’re OK

You_re_OK_smallWe are heading into the home stretch of the Major League Baseball Season looking to crown another World Series Champion. Who will be?  I am pulling for the Blue Jays. Many of us were raised to believe that we had to be the best. Our worth was defined by performance. Not only did we have to make the team, but we had to be a ten-game starter and occasionally get the game ball.  Why was it that way?  Because that was how our parents raised us.  That was the way we thought people would love us.

Inevitably, we would fail to live up to the standard. So each time we knocked the bar off, we would beat ourselves with the shame stick.  Then, more often than not, we’d do something real dumb to feel better.  Maybe it was driving 100 MPH on the freeway with the windows down, or maybe we would pig out at the Chinese buffet, until we were miserable. Perhaps we would buy another new whatever, just as long as it was new.  Some of us would get a buzz on, however we could. Others would act out sexually or maybe we would invent our own little private world, where fantasy was king, or do a million other such crazy things. In other words, we picked our poison, thinking we could somehow escape our perceived failure, if only for just a few peaceful moments.

It never ever worked, but we did it anyway until it became part of our being.  So here we are today. Now is the time to break the spell and get away from dad’s anger, when we struck out in life or mom’s disappointed look. Heads up folks, we don’t have to be the best to be loved. We can choose to do things the way we do them, in our own way, one day at a time and still be loved.

Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT) “For I know the plans I have for you”, says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope”.

The plan, your future and the hope are not tied to anything you do or don’t do or how well you do or don’t do.   It’s all tied to God’s love for you.  Stop trying to be perfect.  You are far from it!  But that is OK. So it’s time to admit it then really trust God and get on with your life.

The online version of my book for free Unscrewed: Becoming Whole Again. My personal story of abuse, shame, guilt, addiction, failure,rehab, forgiveness and victory. http://johngouldener.com/?page_id=3877

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