SCOTUS

Supreme_Court_Front_DuskOver the last few days I have thought a lot about what I need to say about the SCOTUS marriage decision so here goes:  I grew up calling gay people “queers”. My dad told me that they “were after boys”.  I feared them and frankly considered them freaks. If I personally knew any, I was not aware of it. My perceptions of homosexuals were mostly parroted from my parents. Paradoxically, they  also taught me not to discriminate against anybody.

For the last twenty-five years I have counseled with countless gays and lesbians. Each of them claimed to be a Christian and I have no doubt that they are. With one possible exception, I am convinced with certitude that they did not choose their sexual orientations. I have come a long way; today I do not call them names. I call them “friends”. I enjoy their company and treasure their friendship.

Ten years ago when I was at the lowest point of my life a gay friend and a lesbian friend, along with straight friends, walked with me hand in hand from the pit of despair to the pinnacle of hope. Together they helped save me from me! They were not gays and straights pulling against each other but just a bunch of folks pushing and pulling together. As far as I am concerned the result was pretty remarkable. They never set out to do it but that group became the founders of our church.

Saturday on our farm we saw a coyote kill a beautiful fawn by breaking her neck. It was not a pretty sight. Hudson, our seven year old grandson, asked me, “Paw, Paw why did God let that happen?” I did not have a good answer— at least not one that would have made sense to a little boy. Several years back I met with a gay friend for coffee. He was upset because the Sunday before his pastor had said again in his message that gays were going to “burn in the fires of hell”. With tears streaming down his cheeks he stared at me and asked me “John why did God make me this way?” Again I did not have a good answer.  There is much more about life that I do not understand than I do.

The Supreme Court has made its long anticipated decision; albeit not the one I favored. I preferred that instead of changing the definition of marriage that the court would have said civil unions, from a Constitutional perspective, are equal to marriage in all respects. That would have made perfect sense to me. I am sure it would not if I were gay.   It is now the law of the land. I do not think the sky is falling or it is the end of Christianity. Not at all; the Creator is much bigger than a decision made by his creation. I see it as a time of opportunity for the Church.  Jesus said all that is necessary is to love God and love everybody else.  Seems to me that is an agenda that we can all follow if we are willing to give up our own.

For more of what I was taught as a child take a look at the online version of my book  for free Unscrewed: Becoming Whole Again. My personal story of abuse, shame, guilt, addiction, failure,rehab and victory. http://johngouldener.com/?page_id=3877

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One Response to “SCOTUS”

  1. I have wondered about what Christians think on this subject. I have gay friends and live them. I have come to believe to just love them and do not make judgements!

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