At our farm we have quite an assortment of wildlife; our favorites are the birds. We enjoy feeding them and keep the road to the Co-op hot, picking up 35 pound bags of seed. Our large flock of wild turkeys eats most of that. As proof positive that we are over the hill, we can sit for hours just watching our birds. When I was a kid, my Uncle Bill was a bird lover. He built bird houses and feeders and carefully placed them at strategic locations around his farm. Until the last couple of years, I thought that was a bit silly. What goes around comes around. If you are a bird, our place is pretty close to paradise — really good food, beautiful scenery and facilities. It is every bit as good as Uncle Bill’s farm, albeit on a much smaller scale.

Yesterday five of us were riding our bicycles on the Natchez Trace Parkway, which is one of Middle Tennessee’s real treasures. It was a near perfect day and the ride, fellowship and scenery were incredible. When we stopped at Nett’s Country Store in Santa Fe, Tennessee for a drink, I noticed that a bird had dropped a heat seeking missile on my right chest. I had to laugh. Then I saw that Bo had been hit with an even larger bomb that made a much bolder statement on the shoulder of his jersey. Two out of five of us were crapped on Saturday morning. As we continued our ride toward Leipers Fork, I got to thinking about the episode and how it is sort of a metaphor of life itself. Bo and I were just at the wrong place at the right time. The birds didn’t have it in for us, nor were we on their hit list. They had to go and we just happened to be in the line of fire. Such is life. Things happen. I believe to the fiber of my soul that Almighty God is the Creator and Sustainer of the universe. He is in complete and total control. But I don’t think he had the bird crap on Bo and me. No Way! But crappy things do happen in life.

I get very uncomfortable when I hear well meaning Christians say things like, Well, it was just God’s will that so and so got run over by a Mack Truck or that Joe Blow struck out in the big game. The worse is when a child dies and somebody tells the grieved parents that God just wanted another angel in heaven. That is nonsense! My God is not as small as that (not to mention that people don’t turn into angels). We live in a world where bad things happen for a variety of reasons or sometimes for no reason. Even though God is not the source of bad, His Word clearly tells us that He works for good in all things for those who love Him. The bottom line is if you have a love relationship with Him let the crap come!

Check out my memoir, “Unscrewed: Becoming Whole Again”  for free @ http://johngouldener.com/?page_id=95

Sunday at Crossroad Church I will be talking about how to handle critical people. Several years ago I was deeply hurting.  I’m not now. But then there were some things going on.  I was really struggling. I went to my mail box and there was an envelope with no return address. But I intuitively knew who it was from. I thought about not opening it, but I did – big honking mistake! Listen, never open an envelope with no return address. It is either a sales pitch or an “I’m trying to ruin your day” message.

So I opened up this note, and he ripped me.  He just lit into me with a litany of lies. I had a choice to make at that moment.  I could take it personally or I could say, “You know what?  God bless him because he must be really hurting. There’s nothing I can do but dismiss his hate and go on with my day”.  I made a very wise choice! You have to learn to do that.  You cannot please all people.  You have to train yourself to dismiss invalid criticism, or you will never become all that God wants you to be. 

If you do not have a church home, join us Sunday for our new series “Dealing with Difficult People” and hear the rest of the story.

http://www.nashvillecrossroad.com/

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Slamming the receiver down, the middle age counterperson shouted, “Ms Trudy, Birdie be late cause her car won’t start. She called her daddy to come get her.” Ms Trudy is the shift manager at McDonalds. I was waiting in line when I overheard that exchange. About fifteen minutes later, I noticed an older model Ford, minus the driver’s side front fender, pull up.  A young woman, wearing a McDonalds uniform, jumped out and ran into the building.  She looked frightened as she quickly approached  Ms. Trudy. My guess is that was Birdie.

That episode continues to replay in my mind. My cars always start. They are not fancy, but are late models and still have all of their fenders. I do not work in a fast food place for minimum wage.  If I am late to work, I still get full pay and do not have to report to my shift manager. I also take way too much for granted. I am blessed beyond measure. But for the grace of God, the shout could have been, “Ms. Trudy, John be late”.

Something to think about                      

© 2012 John Gouldener All Rights Reserved

more at   http://johngouldener.com/?page_id=95

I’m eating lunch at the Subway at Sixth and Church in downtown Nashville, Tennessee. There is a commotion in the park across the street.  First, there were police cars followed by a fire truck and an ambulance. A guy just walked in and said it was “Just some homeless woman and not a big deal.” I expect it was a big deal to her. To have all that attention and then be loaded up in an ambulance and carted off to the hospital with siren blaring would be a big deal to anyone regardless if she lived on the street or in a penthouse. It seems to be a big deal to her friends who are standing over there looking bewildered and confused.

There seems to always be a crowd of homeless people in that park. When I was young I thought homeless people were bums who chose to live on the streets because they were lazy. But then I got to know several of the homeless and I discovered that more often than not that assumption is wrong.  I met former teachers, nurses, businessmen and women. I met moms and dads and grandparents that, for the most part, at one time had been successful functioning members of society. But something went terribly wrong.

When I was a hospital chaplain I once bought a man, who was an alcoholic living on the streets, a bus ticket to New York. The day I first met with him in his hospital room, he told me a wild story of how he had been a VP of a major national insurance company with a corner office at the company skyscraper in Manhattan. I didn’t believe a word of it. I left his room thinking the poor guy must have pickled his brain with booze. Later, I happened to mention his story to a social worker. She verified its veracity; he had told me the truth. Apparently he had the world on a string. Graduated from an Ivy League school, beautiful wife, two children, a home in the suburbs, but he couldn’t control his drinking. It’s been ten years since I saw him, but I’ve never forgotten him.  There is something about that man that I can’t shake.

Well, I’ve got to get moving. First, I better refill my Diet Coke for.  It was just a homeless woman.

More at http://johngouldener.com/?page_id=95

Late yesterday afternoon, I was witness to a murder. A young woman’s jugular vein was cut before my eyes, by a crazed monster.  It all happened so quickly; she was dead within seconds. I had never seen anything like that in my life. Yet, there were no 911 calls, the CSI did not respond and I do not expect to be called as an eyewitness.  I was on location, as the horror movie “Jug Face” was being filmed along Brush Creek near our farm in Williamson County, Tennessee. I am sure the murder  which took place in the creek itself, took no more that 20 seconds to shoot.  But he did not just wade out there and slit her throat. I watched for nearly two hours as the crew from Moderncine methodically, and painstakingly calculated camera angles, distances and lighting. Then  the talent rehearsed over and over and the special effects guy rigged the victim to bleed like a stuck pig. I had no idea how much work goes into one single scene of a feature film. “Good enough” is not in that crew’s vocabulary.  

Oftentimes we tend to live our lives as if success will spontaneously appear at some nebulous point down the roadway of life; it will not.  Folks who realize their dreams often work for eons to bring them to fruition. When you drive by a mansion, most of the time daddy did not leave it. Way too many folks are what I call “hopers”. They hope to do this that and the other, but never commit to doing much of anything other than blow a bit more smoke tomorrow. Successful people start out hoping, but then they always move past hoping; they get moving. They take some steps forward even if they are baby steps at first.

“Cut”, he shouted as the faux blood drifted like a crimson tide from the lifeless body of the victim. It was nearly six o’clock; they had been there among the tics, snakes and mosquitoes for nearly twelve hours; but to a man and woman I could tell that they felt really good about what they had accomplished. They for sure showed me that the perfect murder never just happens.

 © 2012 John Gouldener All Rights Reserved

more at   http://johngouldener.com/?page_id=95

A while ago our four year oldgrandson, Hudson, jumped from his dad’s truck, “Look Paw-Paw, I got a Spiderman fishing pole. Let’s go fish!” Soon we were digging worms on the creek bank and off to our neighbor’s pond for the much anticipated fishing outing. As Michael was putting a worm on Hudson’s hook, the little fisherman said, “Dad I can do it”. We did not think that was agood idea, so he settled for simply holding a worm. No sooner had Hudson’s bobber hit the water, than he thought he had better reel it in to see if he had “caught a fish”. Soon Michael caught a nice bream. As I held it in my hand, Hudson reached out, ever so slowly, to give it a quick touch, but that was all he wanted. Hudson’s interest in fishing quickly evaporated under the warm morning sun. Instead, he wanted to go with Gran to the house to “play with my toys”. Michael and I encouraged him to stay with us, but that suggestion never gained any traction. Realizing that “playing” would not get him up to the house, next he was “hungry”. Then he was “hot”, “thirsty” and needed to “pee”. Finally, determined to end his day of fishing one way or the other, he said something that I do not think I have never heard a four year old say. “I’m tired. I need to go take anap.” Off Hudson and Gran went to the house; he never took that nap.

At four, Hudson’s attention span is not yet tuned to be much of an angler. Yet, his fishing experience is a parable of life itself. How many times do we older folks eagerly look forward to something only to cast it aside when it does not instantly meet our expectations? Are we not often like little Hudson? We will come up with one excuse after the other to rationalize doing something different. Most of the time, we do not come any closer to finding what we think we are seeking. Exterior fixes like doing things, buying stuff or getting new jobs or even new spouses never fill that empty feeling. That is always an inside job.

Check out my memoir, “Unscrewed: Becoming Whole Again”

at http://johngouldener.com/?page_id=95

The mystery has been solved.  74 year old Russell Brothers has stepped forward and fessed up. He crash landed his 1961 twin-engine Beechcraft 181 Friday night at an abandoned airfield in East Nashville, so skillfully it did not set off an alarm that would have alerted the authorities to come quickly.  It was two days before police learned it was there. Thankfully, Mr. Brothers, whose LinkedIn webpage under the category “Experience” describes him  as an “expert smuggler South America to US from 1984 -1987”, was uninjured and says that he called his wife to come get him. All is well that ends well. 

Mr. Brothers served 11 years in prison from 1988 to 1999 because of his “expert smuggling”. Wonder how many lives were destroyed by Mr. Russell’s drug smuggling greed back then? A friend of mine was accused as a coconspirator in Mr. Brothers’ crime spree. He was acquitted. It ruined him. I attended his trial, so I was not a bit surprised to learn Mr. Brothers was piloting the plane without a working radio or flight plan from Miami that was left empty on the runway in the middle of the night.  He says that he was not carrying drugs and that he learned his lesson during his years in prison.  Call me stupid, but my gut tells me he may be telling the truth this time.

This morning at the “Y”, Mr. Brothers was a hot topic of conversation. Most everybody was of the opinion that, contrary to his denials, he was again using his “expertise” when the plane went down. As I continued my workout and reflected on the opinions, I wondered if people were being unfair to assume that he was up to no good? The truth is guilty or not, Mr. Brothers is responsible for those feelings. People think he is still a crook  for good reason. He chose to be an “expert smuggler” and then proudly lists it on his profile as a major asset.  We are known by our actions not our words.

Something to think about

© 2012 John Gouldener All Rights Reserved

more at    http://johngouldener.com/?page_id=95

Life is full of lessons if we only pause long enough to do a bit of reflecting.  I have been doing just that. Throughout the Bible God worked some of His biggest miracles by using water; I believe He is still at it. Last year we bought our small farm in Williamson County, Tennessee. We did not tell many people about the purchase because we did not want a certain stalking whacko knowing about it.   In October we drilled a water well and hit natural gas in what is known as the Chattanooga Shell formation which runs through much of Williamson County. For a couple of months things went well. We were able to use the water and vent the gas off.  In January crude oil started bubbling up in the creek that runs through our meadow. Apparently nothing like that has previously happened around here. Since it was a slow news cycle, the media jumped on the story and flocked to our place. The story was eventually picked up by the “Associated Press” and “U S A Today”.  When I asked a television reporter why all the interest in the story, she said that I am an “everyman” and when something really odd happens to an “everyman” people’s interest spikes.

Long story short, I became a bit of a folk hero for a few weeks. People that I did not know stopped to ask me about my “oil well” and strangers came to see the oil bubbles.  Of course, the aforementioned whacko slowly drove by with camera in hand.  The end result of my fling with fame is: The cat is out of the bag, we are out over $10,000, we have now filled the well with concrete and have no water. But we have learned much. I know more about water wells, natural gas, oil and the Chattanooga Shell formation than I ever wanted or cared to know. I also know that throughout this experience God was in control.  We had prayed for God to stop the oil flow so that we would not have to fill the well and could continue to flush the toilets. He did not answer our prayers. He did something even better! Because of the oil issue, a few weeks ago, we hired a consultant to analyze the situation and give us advice on what we should do.  He discovered that that the well water, which looked fine, contained 500 times the allowable limits of benzene, a well known carcinogen. Both he and the state recommended we abandon the well. After reading his report we did quickly! Without the oil bubbling up in the creek, we would have never known about the toxic water and might have been glowing in a few years or even worse. I believe we witnessed another of God’s water related miracles. Romans 8:28 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.  God is so cool!  If you come to see us, please bring a bucket of water for the commode.

© 2012 John Gouldener All Rights Reserved

More  about whackoes  and miracles  in my memoir “Unscrewed: Becoming Whole Again” at   

 http://johngouldener.com/?page_id=95

A while back Hudson, my 4.75 year old grandson, when I was telling him  how to eat his ice cream cone replied,“Paw – Paw worry about yourself”. God says the same thing; don’t worry about the other guy, just make sure your side of the street is cleaned up.

Romans 12:17-18  Don’t be revengeful.  Don’t repay anyone evil for evil.  If it is possible, as far as it depends on you live at peace with everyone. 

As far as it depends on you means worry about yourself. Some people will always be jerks. Often it is in their bloodline, so they can’t do much about it. All they know how to do is throw crap. But as for you, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with them. Good advice from a really wise God. FYI: Getting into crap throwing contests will only stink up your life.

 More at http://johngouldener.com/?page_id=95